Tasty Buddha

Tasty Buddha
25 NW 16 Ave
and
2410 NW 43 St

2.5 thumbs up

I've already reviewed this place back when it was called Buddha Belly. They changed names and I ate there again and decided to update my review. The first time, I had their fried rice, which I think is beyond disappointing. I learned that the people who used to run Steamers by campus ran Buddha Belly and it totally made sense. Steamers' fried rice wasn't good either. The first time I ate at Buddha Belly, the place reeked of deep-friedness and the food wasn't great, so I said "don't go here!" But after sampling some other menu items, I've slightly improved my opinion of the place.

First off, the first re-visit featured a spectacular meal. I ordered the peanut curry with tofu and the zucchini fries. The meal was stellar. I was prepared to give the place 4 thumbs up, but I got lazy and never wrote the review. The curry was savory and appropriately seasoned. The tofu light and fluffy. The zucchini fries were a marvel of fried beauty. It was a great meal. Not healthy, but certainly delicious.

The second re-visit was a repeat of the first. The food was so good last time, I had to get it again. This time, the curry was undersalted, which is easy to fix but you shouldn't have to. Also, the tofu was clearly pre-fried and just warmed up and thrown on top. It was soggy and rubbery. The zucchini fries were also not as good as last time. The breading on the slices was so heavy, it prompted my lunch companions to joke that they breaded the zucchini with chicken fingers. The meal wasn't bad, but it wasn't great.


I don't understand how major inconsistencies can exist in a restaurant aggressively trying to franchise itself, but maybe I'm being too demanding.

Overall, this restaurant isn't bad. People seem to love it. I'm just not the hugest fan. The food is inconsistent and unhealthy (it seems like everything is deep fried). It can taste quite good when they're on, but you're not guaranteed that they'll be on.

A Wrap up for 2011

I'm constantly amazed that this blog keeps resounding with the local community. I figured that a few friends would read it and laugh at my rants, but never expected the attention we've been getting.

If you've just joined us, I'm pretty picky. I don't like alot of places, but I'm loyal through and through for my favorites. I think there are some great restaurants in town and many terrible ones. It's a college town with a college mind for food. It's also a market that seems easy to open a new restaurant up in. What this means is that you're going to get some unqualified restauranteurs serving some sad food. I try to not always dwell on the negative, but offer praise where it's due. I've traveled all over the country and have eaten some amazing food along the way, but there's no place I'd rather call home for the present than Gainesville. Therefore, I have to write about what's around me.

I also like to eat healthy. This forces me to judge some places based on menu items that might not be their proudest. I try to avoid fried, fatty foods, but I do try to sample enough of a variety before making a solid decision. Sometimes I'll even re-visit a place 3 or 4 times before writing a review.

If you haven't noticed, I work on a 5 thumb system. My ratings are typically as follows.
5 thumbs up: Best around!
4 thumbs up: Great restaurant
3 thumbs up: Nothing wrong with this place but don't go out of my way to eat there
2 thumbs up: Not bad, not great
1 thumb up: Not good
0 thumbs up: Bad
-5 thumbs up: Horrible

So, I'm going to continue doing what I do. If you get offended or disagree with my reviews, so be it. You don't have to read the blog. If you do like it, however, please continue to read and recommend to friends.

Hope you're eating well!

Bagels and Noodles

1222 W University Ave
Gainesville, FL 32601

Unrated

Bagels and Noodles. The two words are nearly synonymous. Who hasn't explored the famous Little Jewish Vietnam district of New York City, simultaneously feasting on these two culinary bretheren? I would like to propose a few slogans for the little barn shaped restaurant on the north west corner of University and 12th St.

Bagels and Noodles. What happens when Girl Talk goes into the culinary arts?

Bagels and Noodles. You're guaranteed to be disappointed with at least one of our main offerings.

Bagels and Noodles. It's so insane that we hope you'll come out of sheer curiosity.

I figured I should check this place out. After all, they're selling Vietnamese food RIGHT NEXT DOOR to one of the better Vietnamese Restaurants in town. Upon visiting, I quickly learned that Saigon Legend has moved down the road into the Sushi To Go building. Conundrum #1 seems to have been settled. But what about the weird combo of Bagels AND Noodles?

It turns out the owners bought out Bagels Unlimited, which has been a pretty decent staple of Gainesville breakfast fare for many years. Wanting to continue to bank on an already successful business, they continued the breakfast theme (thus the Bagles), but they were Vietnamese and wanted to showcase their indigenous culinary delights (thus the noodles).

I can think of little else I'd be interested in trying than a Vietnamese take on traditional American breakfast. I naturally opted for the noodles. Having been on a Pho kick lately, I decided to give theirs a try. I almost hate to say it, but it was really good. Pho is one of those meals that doesn't vary much from place to place. Bagels and Noodles somehow managed to put a little extra flavor into theirs, and added more vegetables than most other restaurants I've tried. I really liked this soup.

So, why is the place unrated?

Let's just say that if cleanliness is next to godliness, the folks who run this place have a different definition of god than we do. It was dirty. The bathrooms were abhorrently smelly. The walk in cooler/freezer in the back was visibly out of shape; it wasn't sealed properly and was leaking all over the floor. Yup, that's right. Your dinner next week is sitting in there right now, waiting to be cooked.

Our waitress seemed either insane or strung out, possibly both. She was admittedly overwhelmed by the "lunch rush," which was myself and lunch partner along with two other reasonable sized parties.

I just don't know. My food tasted good, but the experience was unsettling. I'm not trying to pull one of those "ohh, the ambiance was bad" reviews. I'm trying to say that the board of health might want to check this place out.

The Pho was really good, but eat at your own risk!

The Gelato Company

11 Southeast 1st Avenue

Zero thumbs up

I hate to be such a downer all the time, but I really don't like this place. I've never liked it. I've checked it out a handful of times over the years and have always been disappointed. They do make their own gelato in house, which is really cool, but every time I go, there is more empty space in their coolers than there is actual gelato and other items for sale. I feel this makes it look like a half assed operation. Why are the shelves half bare? If it was an Eastern Bloc themed restaurant, then maybe it would make sense, but we're capitalists, god damn it. Fill those coolers up with enough Gelato to make it look like you're actually in business. Aside from my insane ranting, the flavors are actually pretty good. I have no specific complaints about the gelato itself.

I do, however, have a big problem with their food. I've NEVER enjoyed a sandwich here. I can't really pinpoint why, but each time I get a panini here, it's unpleasant. On this particular visit, I ordered the Vegetariano Panini, which featured Mozzarella cheese, homemade pesto, Avocado, lettuce and tomato. I think my problems with this sandwich started with the individual ingredients. The pesto wasn't good. I've made pesto at home. It's Basil, Oil, Salt, Pepper, Garlic, Pine Nuts. That's it. Get the proportions right and it's impossible to screw up. Gelato Company's Pesto was unpleasant, heavy, and not helping the sandwich out much.

Next, the bread wasn't good. I don't know where they get their bread from, but it's a huge flaw in the overall sandwich. It had an unusual sickeningly sweet overtone and didn't quite toast up in the sandwich press, but just got hard and crumbly. I was pleased to find that it wasn't terribly greasy and oily, as a past sandwich had been, but still, I did not enjoy the sandwich at all. Furthermore, it was a bit small for the price ($7.50).



I opted to get the side salad with my sandwich and was hoping for something tasty. Instead I got more croutons than lettuce and a very unsettling dressing. I've never tasted a salad dressing like this before. It was almost as if they combined a few others together to create a suicide style dressing (remember when you'd fill up your cup at the self serve with all the flavors of soda?). It was tangy yet sweet, but not in a complimentary way.

I went with two other friends who ordered the exact same thing and we all had the same opinion. It just wasn't good.

I hate to hate on a place like this because the space is so perfect for a cozy little cafe, but I really think The Gelato Company falls way short of the mark and has been doing so for years.



I

Mr. Han's Restaurant and Night Club (?)

6944 NW 10th Pl

5 thumbs down.

Mr. Han's is a bit of a legend in Gainesville. Unfortunately, that legend is all in the past and what is currently offered is a bit of a joke. Apparently, it was THE place to go after Gator Growl back in the 80's. This is evidenced by large faded photographs of the owners with Rodney Dangerfield, Robin Williams, and other performers who haven't set foot in Gainesville since the Reagan Era. For some reason, the entire place is painted black inside. I find this very unsettling. I also have no idea what takes place in the "Night Club" downstairs, as I can't imagine anyone heading out to I75 and Newberry Road to get their drink on on a late Saturday night.

Regardless of the creepy vibe, the food just isn't good. I've eaten here 3 or 4 times over the years, always with a big group, and always with someone who knew the owners and got special treatment. Even with this preferential treatment, the food was extremely unsettling and a few of us would always end up eating somewhere else afterwards.

First up would always be the Gelatinous Shrimp Soup. I have no idea what they're going for with this item, but there is so much corn starch in this "soup" that you could probably stand a chop stick up in it.

Then, an assortment of entrees would arrive, including a dry, pre sliced and fanned out duck, goopy soggy eggplant homogeneously mixed with a weak brown sauce, dry old white rice, and other stir fry mysteries.

You have to understand that I'm not a huge fan of Chinese food in general, but I really really really hate Mr. Han's. It's creepy, the food is bad and the ingredients seem cheap. Eventually, we stopped accepting invitations to the big group dinners because they'd end up just being a waste of time. We'd have to come up with some excuse for leaving early and not eating much and it just got old.

I do not like this place.

Taste of Saigon

4860 NW 39th Ave # C

3 thumbs up

I've eaten at Taste of Saigon approximately 4 times in the last 6 years. It's pretty close to my house and I love Vietnamese food. What's the problem, then, you ask? Well, to be honest, I had a few lukewarm experiences there and had never really cared to return. After having it suggested to me for a new review, I felt that I had to return and couldn't just review the place based on an old experience. So I did!

I must say, the Pho that I got was quite good. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary, but it certainly wasn't disappointing. One nice feature was the option to order egg noodles instead of rice noodles. I really dug the flavor and texture of the egg noodles and will definitely get them again in future Pho's. I also tasted a dining partner's stir fry and really enjoyed the flavor of the brown sauce.

Overall, I was pleased with this experience, but hesitate to give them more than 3 thumbs up until I return and sample a few more menu items. If they hold up to the quality I received the other night, they'll surely earn more.

Check it out!

Pho Hanoi: Giving the name "Vietnam" a bad association

3550 SW 34th St (next to the Goodwill on South West 34th)

5 thumbs down

Just when you thought that pan-asian cuisine couldn't get worse, Pho Hanoi steps in with a steaming plate of mediocrity. I'd never been here before, so when a friend suggested it for lunch, I figured I'd give it a shot. I do love Vietnamese food and was curious to see a new take on it. First off, we ordered some edamame. They came out shriveled, wilted, and splotchy colored. They looked very sad. They tasted even sadder. It looked like they'd been sitting in the fridge or freezer for way too long and were just discovered in time to serve them up to us.

For the meals, we had the vermicelli pork bowl and the stir fried vegetables and tofu. The vermicelli just looked like white spaghetti and overall, the whole meal wasn't very good (pictured above). The stir fried vegetables and tofu were as equally sad as the edamame and were served with next to no sauce (despite being advertised as having a brown sauce). I kept getting a distinct whiff of kitty litter box from the vegetables and somehow managed to pinpoint its origin to the cabbage/sauce combination. The only thing that made this tolerable was excessive amounts of hoisin and sriracha sauce that I added. This place was terrible. The food was bad. The ingredients were cheap and old. In fact, it wasn't even that cheap (at 11 bucks each, it was disappointing for my wallet as well as stomach).

To be honest, I was worried that it might be really good, as it's so far away from the parts of town I frequent. Fortunately(?) for me, it wasn't anything to be worried about.

Don't eat here.

Welcome New Readers!

Holy Smokes! I had 200 hits on this thing yesterday!! When I started, I figured I may have a few friends check it out and perhaps get the stray unknown reader now and then. But to have the people at VisitGainesville.com not only following, but re-posting some recent reviews kinda blew my mind. I figured, since so many of you are new, that you should understand where I'm coming from.  

The Thumb System: Here's how I rate restaurants.
5 thumbs up : Excellent! Love it! Eat here multiple times a week!
4 thumbs up : Very Good! Not quite perfect. Eat here one-two times a month.
3 thumbs up : Good. It does the job and nothing to really complain about. Eat here only when you're in the area and can't think of anywhere else.
2 thumbs up : Not bad. I would think about trying somewhere else first if I had the choice. Eat here rarely.
1 thumb up : Meh. It's calories. I would definitely try to eat somewhere else if I had a choice.
0 thumbs up : Not worth my time. They're not even trying. (skip 1-4 thumbs down, because at this point, who really cares?)
5 thumbs down : Terrible  

Opinionated, Over reactive, and Bawdy I'm letting you know up front that I'm not going to like some places that you love. As long as you're OK with that, so am I. For instance, I HATE Boca Fiesta & Tim's Thai. I don't think Satchel's Pizza is as great as you do. And don't even get me started on Chopsticks. You can read these reviews by browsing my archives. I'm trying to find a way that you can search for specific old reviews, but for now check out the links on the bottom right.  

What do you like? I like fresh, healthy, appropriately seasoned, and well thought out food. I don't eat alot of meat, so we may have some issues here if you're a big time carnivore. I stay away from fried foods and cream sauces. I find poor service inexcusable. I'm not interested in pickled jalapenos in a fish rice bowl. Just give me real food.  

What makes you the expert? Nothing. I know what I like and what I don't like. That's the only reason I started this blog. I really hate bad dining experiences and wanted a forum to vent. I also LOVE great dining experiences. I hope to counterbalance the negativity I inject into the internet with something positive. If you've ever noticed, no local publication (GVL Sun, Alligator, InSite, Local News, etc) EVER says anything negative about a local restaurant. There is certainly a strong sense of community in Gainesville, but I feel it comes at the cost of honesty. It seems that most people in a position to criticize in this town don't want to hurt an entrepreneur's chances of succeeding, so they'll always give positive reviews. Not me.

So, there you have it. Up next, I'm going to do a review of The Gelato Company. I don't like them. The review will not be pleasant. Repeated fair warning: We will not agree on some things, but that's what makes the world go round.

Swamp Head Brewing Co.

Sold all around Gainesville at your favorite bars
and available at the tasting room
3140 S.W. 42nd WAY
Gainesville, FL 32608
(352) 505-3035
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday
4pm to 8pm

4 thumbs up

From what I've learned about commercial brewing in Florida, it's nearly impossible to get through all the red tape to be up and running as a legit brewery. Trust me, I thought about doing it about 4 years ago. It seemed nearly impossible. From what I understand, it took the good folks at Swamphead the better part of 2 years to get operational due to the overly complicated Florida laws.

Regardless, we have a pretty great brewery right here amidst our city limits. Most of their brews are quite good and they always provide a satisfying variety of styles. My only criticism is that their beers aren't terribly unique and seem to mimic already popular beers that are commercially available. Even so, I'm happy to support a local entrepreneur who produces a tasty product, copy cat or not.

Here are my takes on some of their brews.

Wild Night Honey Cream Ale (1.5 thumbs up): This beer isn't bad, but isn't great. It's a lighter offering and has sometimes come out of the tap a bit stinky. It's certainly not my go to choice.

Cottonmouth Belgian Wheat Beer (4 thumbs up): This beer is quite tasty, but I think it's uncomfortably similar to Hoegaarden. It's still good, and since it's made right in town instead of Belgium, I'm OK with that.

Stump Knocker Pale Ale (4 thumbs up): Hops! HOPS! This beer is LOADED with hops. I had one last night and it nearly punched me in the nose. After the first few biting sips, I became accustomed to it's strong hop content and actually enjoyed it quite a bit. Not for the weak at heart when it comes to hops. HOPS!

Big Nose IPA (5 thumbs up): This is my favorite Swamp Head brew probably because it's extremely similar to Dogfish Head's 60 and 90 minute IPAs (which are two of my favorite commercially available beers). It's a little strong for my tastes (at 7.3%), but it's really their best beer in my opinion.

Midnight Oil Oatmeal Coffee Stout (0 thumbs up): I think this beer isn't worthy of their roster. It basically tastes like a carbonated, unsweetened espresso. I think I'd prefer it if the Oatmeal came through more than the coffee. Ironically, this beer has won best Florida beer awards for the past 2 years. Also, it's described as having an intense coffee aroma and flavor without the bitter oils. I think this statement is flat out wrong. I think it's super bitter and not enjoyable to drink. And just so you know I'm not inherently prejudiced to the style, Oatmeal stouts and coffee beers are some of my favorite styles of beer.

They also brew seasonal offerings and limited releases.

Overall, I'm happy to have Swamp Head in town, but I'd seriously like them to develop a voice of their own.

L Cemi Boriquas Cuisine Food Truck

L Cemi Boriquas Cuisine Food Truck

I don't know where they're typically located, but they were outside of Double Down Live (the old Common Grounds) on a Friday night.

4 thumbs up

I don't know where this truck came from or where it's going to end up, but I was certainly intrigued to find it parked outside of the Double Down Live last night. The truck looked super pro and wasn't merely a converted van or old ambulance. It was a commercially viable food truck. Despite it looking uber pro, they only had about 5 things for sale. Regardless, I decided to give it a go. The most expensive thing on the menu was a 6 dollar, 3 meat, foot-long sandwich. It still looked like quite the deal. Everything else was from 1-3 dollars. They specialize in traditional Puerto Rican items, which I am somehow completely unfamiliar with. I've never even seen a Puerto Rican restaurant, let alone eaten Puerto Rican food.

I ordered the "potato balls" and the corn meal sticks. Each had a Spanish name, which I negligently don't remember. The potato balls were 1 dollar. The corn meal sticks were 2. I don't know how you could complain about spending 3 bucks on fresh cooked food.

Let's start with the corn sticks. They weren't very good. I was hoping for so much more. They looked deliciously crispy and flavorful, but in actuality were a bit chewy and lacked flavor. I immediately forgave them for the corn sticks upon biting into the potato balls. Sweet lord-a-mighty, what tantalizing confection have you sent us from your merciful bounty? I was immediately blown away by these. I've never seen anything like them before. It was literally deep fried balls of mashed potatoes with savory seasoned ground beef inside (I honestly wouldn't have bought them had I known there was ground beef inside, but once I bit in, it was too late). They should probably consider advertising that there is meat in this item, as there are certainly many vegetarians in town who might be accidentally duped.

On rare occasion, deep frying can be a light and fluffy yet crispy and savory way to prepare food. Most of the time, however, it just makes the food laden with excess fat and super heavy when it hits your stomach. The corn sticks were the latter while the potato balls were miraculously the former. The frying process created a gossamer thin crisp layer around what was the lightest, fluffiest, and softest textured mashed potatoes inside. In the dead center was the ground beef. These things were so damn good. I got my order to go and ate them at home. While biting into the first potato ball, my cat jumped up on the table and was aggressively trying to eat it out of my hand. I couldn't get him away; it was as if he was possessed by them. They served them with some sort of pinkish-orange sauce that I think was just ketchup and mayo combined.

All in all, it looks like this truck will be serving up the perfect late night, post-drinking munchies. I'm really pleased to see the food truck becoming a part of Gainesville's food scene and hope it will continue.

Cafe C

Cafe C
424 N.W. 8th Ave
Open for lunch only from 11:00-3:00

3.5 thumbs up for meat based sandwiches. 0 thumbs up for vegetarian based sandwiches.

I have to be honest. I've been ignoring this place since it opened. Maybe it's the horrible paint job on the outside or the fact that it never seems to be open, but I really haven't even thought about eating here until last Thursday. I was very pleased and somewhat shamed to find out that it was pretty darn good. Not only that, but the place was PACKED for lunch. Apparently everyone else in town knew but me.

Their menu is somewhat hard to absorb, as there are many options. They have a sandwich section and a salad section, each costing 10 dollars with tax. I wanted a sandwich AND a salad, but couldn't see paying 20 bucks for lunch. I noticed they had a 1/2 and 1/2 option, but the sandwich and salad were pre-determined by the restaurant. Eventually, I realized that almost all the sandwiches come with a salad or side of sorts. I settled on the grilled cheese on rye with the mozzarella and tomato caprese atop greens salad with balsamic vinaigrette and some sort of pesto.

I didn't mind the sandwich, but I did agree with my lunch partner that it looked like something you'd serve to a 3 year old. It was barely toasted and the cheese wasn't melted all the way, but it really wasn't bad. It just didn't look good. The salad was quite good and fresh and I enjoyed it very much.

My lunch mate got the pesto chicken sandwich, which came in a more than ample serving size.
Despite it being quite good, he actually couldn't finish it because it was so much food.

If you "check in" to Cafe C on your smartphone, they'll give you a free dessert. We were really on the fence about this, as we went there for a healthier lunch option and now we were being presented with some really overly-indulgent goodies. Being the spineless gluttons that we are, we took advantage of the deal and got a lemon bar and a rocky road brownie. Both were quite good, but could easily be considered weapons of mass cardiac destruction.


Overall, I liked this place on my first visit. I've gone back 3 more times and have been increasingly disappointed with the vegetarian options. To be honest, I'd just flat out say that they're boring and uninspired. My lunch partner has thoroughly enjoyed all of the meat based sandwiches that he's ordered, so I'd only advise to go here if you're a meat eater.



As with anywhere, you have to choose the right menu option to have a good meal. I'd really avoid the salads if I were you and go more for the combos, as they present a better meal.

Re-visit: Kozmic Bluz Pizza & The Hyppo Popsicles - St. Augustine

Previously, in one of my "daytripper" pieces, I recommended a little off the beaten path pizza place in St. Augustine called Kozmic Bluz. I happened to spend the afternoon in St. Auggie today, so I hit up the old parlour for a slice. It was pretty terrible. I won't go so far as to say that it was the worst pizza I've ever had, but it was really bad. I'd be hard pressed to ever go back there again.

On a positive note, I'm happy to see that The Hyppo Popsicle shop is doing well and featuring more flavors. We had Key Lime, Datil Plum (Datil is a spicy pepper), and The Elvis Presley (peanut butter, banana, honey). They were all very tasty. I'm really curious to try pineapple cilantro next time.

East End Eatery

1202 NE 8th Ave

Zero thumbs up

I SWEAR I've already reviewed East End Eatery. I can even remember specific lines from the review. But for some reason, I can't find it anywhere. So here it goes again. You'll have to forgive me, as I literally just deleted all my old photos from my phone today and I had a few from here on there.

East End Eatery is yet another example of everything that's wrong with Gainesville food. It's not good, the service is very slow, yet for some inexplicable reason, EVERYBODY loves it. Go check out Yelp or Urban Spoon. Their reviews are through the roof even though the place is really, really mediocre.

I've even eaten here at least 3 or 4 times and tried many things on the menu to come to this conclusion. I've had the unimpressive tabbouleh platter, complete with soggy grape leaves and over garlic-ed and lumpy hummus. I've had the greasy quesadilla of the day. I've had the utterly depressing grilled tempeh and vegetable panini. All of these items were very lackluster. The sides of the day range from a bizarre potato salad with a "white-out" consistency mayonnaise glaze to unappetizing pasta salads. I've eaten here with many other people who ordered meat dishes who completely agree with me. Bottom line: Unimpressive.

The only reason they don't get the scathing 5 thumbs down review is because the place looks cool and they're helping revitalize the worn out east end of town. Otherwise, it's a waste of time, money, and calories.

I marveled to a lunch partner that this place was run by a catering company. Surely, they'd have to know how to cook in order to cater. But as he said, "have you ever been impressed by catering?" I couldn't think of a more apt description.

The Bull

18 SW 1 Ave

Bar/cafe/breakfast & lunch

5 thumbs up!

The Bull has become my go-to spot when it comes to nighttime in downtown Gainesville. On Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights, they have free live music by some of Gainesville's best musicians (Ricky Kendall, Michael Claytor, Nicole Miglis, and several others). They serve a solid sampling of local Swamp Head Brewery's offerings, including rare and limited run batches as well as a modest yet impressively hand picked selection of national and international beers. I honestly prefer a place that has 30 amazing beers as opposed to 300. I feel it's a sign of sophistication to limit your selection to choices that won't let anyone down but won't overwhelm customers. They also serve a very nice selection of fine, yet reasonably priced wines.

Don't want alcohol? Grab a coffee, tea, Italian soda, or Ginger Beer to whet your whistle. They custom make their own syrups for the Italian sodas. I find the particular brand of ginger beer to be one of the best I've ever tasted.

For lunch, I had the TLT, which is tempeh, lettuce, and tomato served open faced on a toasted bagel with veganaise (vegan mayo). I added some nice avocado for 75 cents. The sandwich cost me about 7 bucks total and the ginger beer was 3. The sandwich was very tasty, and they prepared the tempeh with white wine and mustard seed.

I've heard people complain that their beer prices are to high, but for 5 bucks (and occasionaly 6), you can get an excellent draft beer. Also, their bottles range from about 2 bucks to 5 bucks.

As one of downtown's newer establishments, The Bull seems to have already carved its niche despite competing directly with longer standing places such as Volta. I honestly think that while both serve fine coffees, teas, and small desserts, The Bull takes the lead in nightlife offerings and real food. Volta certainly knows their stuff, and I prefer to support them when it comes to coffee, as they were there first. But I can personally find a use for both.

I highly recommend checking this place out. It's certainly a great addition to downtown.

Bento

Two Locations:
3832 W Newberry Rd
3841 Southwest Archer Road

3.5 thumbs up

Bento used to be a regular staple in our dining out options. For a period, I think we ate there at least once a week. When you have a choice between 25 rice bowls/Bento Boxes, 9 noodle bowls, 8 noodle soup bowls, a dozen other soups and sides, and a full sushi menu, it's hard to run out of options. I will say that we somewhat burned out on Bento and haven't been in some time, but that doesn't detract from its quality. Also, Bento is a local business that is constantly growing and expanding. They currently have restaurants in Orlando and Jacksonville too. I always like to see a local business succeed that deserves it. Let's focus on each of the choices.

Sushi:
Their sushi is pretty good, but not amazing. The business focuses on quick turnover and a college age market, so it doesn't have to be the best in town. It certainly isn't bad, but it's not my favorite. That being said, I don't think you'll be disappointed or find it worse than Drangonfly, Ichiban, or any of the other lackluster sushi places in town.

Bento Boxes / Rice Bowls:
Most of the main dishes can be ordered in Bento Box or rice bowl format. The Bento box comes with small portions of ginger salad, rice, string beans, noodles, and a tiny dessert. The desserts are almost always terrible, but the Asians aren't renowned for their sweet teeth. The rest of the items are all very fresh and tasty. The Bento Box is ideal to get a little sampling of several different things. If you don't want all of the pan asian accoutrement, you can just order the same main dish on a bowl of rice. Some of my favorites are the spicy chicken, korean chicken, and the teriyaki. It's pretty impressive how many options there are with the Bento Box and Rice Bowl.

Noodle Bowls:
I've never honestly had these, but I'd imagine they'd be on par with the rice bowls.

Bubble Teas:
Of course, they have Bubble aka "Bobba" teas. These are various flavors of tea, combined with milk and sweetened quite a bit. You can also order tapioca "bubbles" or pearls to suck up through a giant straw. I honestly find them kinda weird, but can see how they're popular in pan asian culture, where desserts are mysteries to me.

So, why do they only get 3.5 thumbs up if I"m raving so much about them? First off, the service is always notoriously slow. I don't think I've ever received my food in less than 20 minutes. Also, on busy nights, the place is packed, making those 20 minutes climb above 30 and sometimes 40 minutes. For a somewhat fast-ish food restaurant, that's inexcusable. Also, their vegetarian options are quite bland and uninspired.

Overall, Bento is a good restaurant. It's not the best in the world, but it's definitely one of the better Pan Asian options in town.

Farah's

1120 West University Avenue

5 Thumbs Down

Farah's has apparently been in business since 1980. I have no idea how, as they serve some of the shittiest Mediterranean food I've ever had. I've eaten here a half dozen times over the 9.5 years I've been in this town and each time has been a huge disappointment. Their take on Mediterranean is heavy handed and poorly done, with falaffel over fried, hummus over garlic-ed, and vegetables unimpressive.

In my opinion, Mediterranean food can be some of the tastiest, lightest, and most refreshing of cuisines. What is more desirable than a lightly fried falaffel with some tzatziki sauce (yogurt, cucumber, and spices) and well made hummus?

Unfortunately, Farah's can't deliver.

We swore to never return after the last time we went. Our waitress was so high that she couldn't even figure out the bill at the end of the night. Obviously, the service was spotty at best and the orders came out wrong and not at the same time. But I kid you not, the girl was losing her mind over who ordered what and how much it cost. We were telling her, "Look, I ordered these, they cost this much, give me a bill that says as such." But she was fried and couldn't comprehend.

I honestly think that Farah's is yet another one of Gainesville's worst restaurants. As a long standing bastion of University Avenue, it somehow represents old Gainesville, where food quality standards were even lower than they are today. For some reason, however, they can't seem to go out of business. Even if they did and Modern Age Tobacco and Gifts expanded to open a dildo room, I'd still say good riddance.

Maui Teriyaki

Two Locations:
600 NW 75th St # E, Gainesville - (352) 331-3393
3105 Southwest 34th Street, Gainesville, Florida - (352) 264-0262

One thumb sideways

Maui Teriyaki is weird. I've never been to the newer location on 34th and Archer, but the older location has an extremely unusual feeling to it. The dining area is set up with booths next to bigger than usual windows overlooking the road outside. It's almost as if they want to showcase any customers who actually come inside. At first, I hated this place. I thought it was gross, cheap, dirty, and took forever. But, it has grown on me. They have a rice bowl with veggies and spicy teriyaki sauce that isn't half bad. It does take a surprisingly long time to get the food and it isn't as cheap as you'd think, but in a pinch, it works, especially if you're in the neighborhood.

Late night eats: The Virtually Cuban Hot Dog Cart

on the North West corner of SW 1st St and SW 1st Ave
(only open at night and typically only on nights when people go out downtown)

Five thumbs up!

While the hot dog cart isn't Cuban themed, the dude who runs is also owns Virtually Cuban on S 13th. A few years ago, this was the only late-night hot dog cart in downtown Gainesville. Recently, at least one more has popped up (caddy corner to flaco's) and during the day you can find the asshole who runs the one by the downtown plaza (don't get me started on that guy. Let's just say he started yelling at me for trying to take an extra paper towel).

In my opinion, however, the Virtually Cuban cart is the only one we need. You can get a regular beef hot dog, an Italian sausage, a beer brat, or a veggie dog. For condiments, he has a wide variety of choices including several different types of mustard and relish.

My personal favorite has always been the beer brat with some spicy mustard and sauerkraut. After a few beers, it really doesn't get much better than one of those guys.

For a while, meat was the only choice, so I was very pleased to see that he added veggie dogs as there are so many vegetarians in this town.

He also has various candies, sodas, chips and other late night necessities that you might require after drinking a few rounds.

All in all, it's a well stocked hot dog stand. You'll be hard pressed to find better, especially in this town.

Leonardo's Pizza / Bistro 1245 / Leo's 706

1245 West University Avenue and 706 W University Ave

I'm going to review these together, but discuss them separately.

Leonardo's 2.5 thumbs up

Due to its prime location and counter culture meets college culture status, Leonardo's has been a staple of the Gainesville food scene for years. I've only eaten there about a half dozen times in the 9 years I've been in town, but have to say it really isn't bad. It's certainly not the best pizza in town, but it will do the trick. I've found (as with many other places) that the pizza is better if you order a whole pie, rather than selecting a slice that's been sitting around and reheated.

But seriously, let's cut to the chase. Cleanliness, personal hygiene/grooming, and customer service certainly aren't their strong points. In fact, I've always believed that if you order some unusual combination of toppings, you'll end up with some drugs on your tray. All you have to do is crack the code. Am I wrong here? Say, for example, you ordered anchovies, pepperoni, and artichoke hearts on a goat cheese slice, I wouldn't be surprised if some cocaine was hidden under your plate.

Regardless, it appears to be a tried and true business format. Provide decent food right next to campus and give the place a cool kid vibe and you'll do well. I ordered the plain cheese pizza and a Greek salad. Both were pretty good. The salad came with two rolls which were so dense, I swear you'd be able to knock someone out if you threw it really hard at their head. They were still tasty, and even better when dunked in the garlic butter sauce.

I can't really say anything terrible about this place. It's certainly not my favorite pizza, but it really isn't that bad.

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Bistro 1245
2 thumbs up

Bistro 1245 is Leonardo's sophisticated older sister who lives next door. She has a very nice wine selection and menu items for adults. That being said, the adults are still in college, so she's not that sophisticated. Bistro 1245 obviously gets its name from its address, but I can't help but think that it's just the 1245th Bistro to open in town. Maybe that's because I remember the AOL days when you wanted to use the screen name FenderStrat, but obviously it was taken already, so they auto assigned you a random number at the end (FenderStrat12340872). I've also only eaten here a few times over the years, but have never been turned off. I've just never been really impressed.

A few menu highlights are the spicy tofu melt, which features grilled marinated tofu, smoked Gouda,tomato, greens, and red pepper aioli, served on farm bread. They also used to have a portabello mushroom sandwich with apple jelly, smoked Gouda, and other delicious things, but I don't see it on their menu anymore.

It's really not a bad restaurant, it's just nothing amazing. I feel like the people eating there are playing grown up and the restaurant is going right along with the charade. For Gainesville's Faux Fancy cuisine, you could do worse, and certainly spend a lot more money, as their menu items range from 7-15 dollars.

Their wine is also quite affordable and they feature a unique method of choosing by allowing you to select a bottle right from the display racks positioned around the room. I'm always a sucker for being able to look at pictures of what I'm choosing from (much like an ice cream truck).

Much like Leo's next door, it's really not that bad.

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Leonardo's 706

5 thumbs down

Leonardo's 706 takes what almost works at the other locations and destroys it. Nothing epitomizes Gainesville Faux Fancy like 706. The menu items are slapdash concoctions of ingredients that a 6 year old could have created. No menu item sums this up more than the Aruba Pasta: Angel Hair Pasta, with avocado, tomatoes, in a tarragon white wine sauce with chicken, shrimp, and/or scallops optional. Upon seeing this item, I felt the chef must know something I don't and that this combination of ingredients has been hidden to man since the Dark Ages. I love all of those things, so they MUST be good together. Why else would it be prominently featured atop the pasta menu!?

HORRID.

Only a madman would consider this a tasty meal. The ingredients clashed in every way imaginable. It was single-handedly one of the worst pasta dishes I've ever had.

Another great example is the THAI PIZZA!! Who doesn't love to throw down on an old fashioned pie complete with Hoisin sauce, shiitake mushrooms, red and yellow peppers, scallions, peanuts, mung sprouts, and mozzarella. While you're at it, throw some optional shrimp on top too.

The other menu items may not be as bad as these, but they certainly all seem OVER inspired.

I honestly think that 706 is one of the worst restaurants in town. It's packed to the gills with pretension and has some of the most over the top food around. On top of it all, the service is terribly slow. I've heard that their Sunday brunch is good, but after eating their other offerings, I can't honestly work up the courage to check it out.

As I always say, "Let's throw a bunch of fancy ingredients at a plate and charge 20 dollars for it" is neither a good business model nor culinary philosophy. Unfortunately, that's exactly what they're doing at 706.

Pelican Brother's Food Truck: I'm in love with a food truck

Pelican Brothers Food Truck
(Usually parked outside of Common Grounds and open only at night)
Follow them on Facebook for more locations and hours

I've fallen in love with a food truck! Despite the recent national popularity of these mobile culinary emporiums, Gainesville seems to only have one operating at the present moment. Started by the former bass player of Mercury Program and his wife, Pelican Brothers serves up unique dishes perfect for late night snacks.

Nearly every menu item is reasonably priced finger food that will satisfy any alcohol induced craving. You're looking to spend anywhere from 3-7 dollars on anything from Fish Taquitos, empanadas, quesadillas, oyster sliders, or hand cut french fries.

As everything is cooked inside the truck, there aren't many preparation options available besides deep frying. Typically, I steer clear of fried food as it's usually very heavy and laden with oil. Pelican Bros, however, has perfected the art of deep frying and their items always arrive as feather light crispy treats.


My ultimate favorite menu item is the fish taquito. They don't roll up and deep fry the whole thing (like other "taquitos"). Rather, they just serve a golden breaded chunk of delicious fish on a small corn tortilla shell, complete with cabbage and spicy sauce. It's basically a little taco. You can get 2 for $5 or 3 for $7. I absolutely love these things and can't get enough of them.

I've also tried the quesadilla, which is prepared on the griddle and not deep fried. It came with a delicious tomatillo salsa and some sort of creamy avocado dip that had wonderful spices in it (I want to say clove or allspice). Finally, I've eaten the peanut butter and plantain empanada with chipotle sauce drizzled on top. It was quite good.

I'm really impressed with the flavors, preparation styles, and simplicity that comes out of this little truck. It is a much welcomed addition to downtown Gainesville's night food scene. I hope they consider opening for lunch, as downtown really needs some new quality lunch options.

B.F.D. (New breakfast/lunch place in Sun Center)

101 SE 2nd place #114
Inside Sun Center East (where Maude's is)

The owners of Boca Fiesta have decided to take a shot at the Bermuda Triangle of Downtown Gainesville's Restaurant Scene, Sun Center East. In the 2 years I've been working downtown, no less than 4 other restaurants have tried and failed miserably to make ends meet in the scarcely visited and zero incidental foot trafficked location INSIDE the "mall" behind Maudes.

As this blog has repeatedly stated, Boca Fiesta may not be Gainesville's worst restaurant, but if Tim's Thai burns down, they will certainly be leading the race.
As a fierce critic, I couldn't wait to try their new venture, fangs glistening and mouth salivating like a wolf about to demolish its prey (not in a hunger sense, but in a metaphorical sense).

Upon first glance, I was actually impressed with the menu offerings, but held my horses, as it couldn't be that good, right?

Wrong!

It was amazing.

I'm actually flabbergasted and momentarily without words.






To be honest, this is the type restaurant I'd expect from the folks running Boca Fiesta. It's definitely very Gainesville. There are ample meat options, but the veg choices are unique and seemed enticing. I settled on the BBQ Jackfruit sandwich, which is served on a potato bun with a side of cole slaw. While it didn't look like it was going to win any "handsomest sandwich" awards, it was damn good. To be honest, I've never had anything like it. The jackfruit was very satisfyingly sweet and had a mildly chewy texture. It wasn't chewy like gum, but it had something you could sink your teeth into (unlike tofu). The BBQ sauce was delicious and the cole slaw made a great addition to the sandwich. The real kicker was the price: $4.50!!!! What a great sandwich for a great price.

I polished it off with one of their 3 different ginger beers, which at 2.50, was the only slightly high price in my opinion.

My eating companion got a burger, which he said was very good. At $4.50, it was also a great bargain. His cole slaw had a decent sized sharp piece of plastic in it, so that was kind of a downer, but the restaurant gladly comped us a CHERRY PIE MILKSHAKE!! What insane pregnant woman invented this heavenly confection? I swear to god, if it wasn't going to quickly stop my heart from beating, I'd eat one of these every day for breakfast and consider a second for mid afternoon snacking.

Surprises do happen, even in this town, even with previously unpopular restauranteurs. Take it from me, if I liked this place, it's gotta be good. Again, I really feel like this style of food is more natural to the folks who run it, but don't go here expecting anything resembling Boca Fiesta.

I'll gladly go back (and surely report if things change).

Daytripper: The Great Outdoors - High Springs

65 North Main Street
High Springs, FL 32643-2652
(386) 454-1288

I've often wanted to check out The Great Outdoors up in High Springs, as I've heard good things about it and it looks really charming. I've always envisioned a nice day at the springs followed by a hearty meal at what I assumed was a unique hidden gem in sleepy North Alachua County. Upon finally visiting, however, I was faced with many realizations. First, I'm out of my element up here. That's why my blog is so negative. Food around us is mostly aimed at college (read poor) kids and rednecks. Sure, a lone stand out or two can surprise me from time to time, but overall, I'm not the target market of the restaurateurs in this part of the country. Second, I'm not comfortable when surrounded by Florida Cracker/redneck culture. For example, the little store next door to the restaurant had about half a dozen different front pages from various newspapers on the day of Osama Bin Laden's death. I don't think they'll be taking them down any time soon.

Back to the restaurant. The building was very charming and well done. It took them about 10 minutes to figure out where to seat us (the place was empty), but that allowed ample time to browse the bits and bobs of local history hanging on the wall. To be honest, the little "downtown" strips of Gainesville's surrounding small towns are quite charming and deserve the utmost preservation efforts. We sat on the back porch/bar area, which was very beautifully done. It was almost idyllic out back there until I realized how Red State it felt. I could easily see a bunch of drunken rednecks on a Friday or Saturday night gettin all riled up by some fairy college boys and fittin' ta rassle em.

I ordered one of their private label beers, which are contract brewed through Indian River Brewery in Melbourne. The one I chose was Naked Ed Pale Ale. Naked Ed, for you fans of local lore, is a real dude who lives in the woods completely naked at all times. My favorite part about this "Pale Ale," was the first three lines of the description on the bottle: "This Amber Ale..." Hey, but who's keeping track of things like that?

The porch features live music, and it's about what you can expect of a place in High Springs, FL. The only serious problem (besides the Matchbox 20 covers and basically every other song they played) was that it was being played at ear splitting levels. Just two dudes on acoustic guitars prevented us from being able to hear each other talk at the table 20 yards away.

To start, I ordered the side portion of the nut n berry salad ($5) which featured organic field greens, dried cranberries, roasted pears, spiced walnuts and Maytag bleu cheese in a honey balsamic. It tasted like thanksgiving dessert in salad form. It was pretty delicious, but I'm pretty sure the dressing was made out of pure brown sugar and honey.
For my entree, I ordered the Cajun griddled redfish. They offer their fish prepared in 4 different fashions (cajun griddled, ginger-ponzu pan roasted, deep fried, and grilled) and I picked what seemed to be the most foolproof method. They specify on the menu in an almost boastful manner that the blackened seasoning is Chef Paul Prudhomme's special blend of spices. Seriously? Fucking Paul Prudhomme? I joked with our server by asking if Paul Prudhomme was actually working tonight. He didn't get it. All the fish dishes were served on a bed of organic greens with sweet pea and saffron infused Israeliean cous cous. Despite the fact that it's "Israeli," you can't really fault the folks here, as they've probably never even seen a real live Jew up in their parts. Besides, they're just doing the best job they can at Americaniean cuisine. Also, it really didn't need the overly generous dollop of buttery creamy whatever that they plopped on top.

All in all, the fish was OK, nothing great, nothing terrible. The greens and cous cous were cold, which was odd and they seemed to be seasoned with a light balsamic vinaigrette, which was equally bizarre. The combination of flavors didn't really go with the flavor of the fish.

I really don't know what I was expecting. It was straight up American cuisine with loads of simply prepared meats and an aim to please the good country folk of High Springs. If you're passing through on your way back from the springs, it might be worth checking out, but don't go out of your way to eat here.

The Lunchbox: Fool me thrice?

After vowing to never return to the little ol lunchbox in downtown Gainesville, I found myself starting at its menu yet again. I knew the original owners had sold the place and was assured that quality had actually improved. As far as the original owners, I can't think of a better move for someone so out of touch with culinary skills. The new owner, unfortunately, hadn't changed the menu at all and I was faced with the same 4 boring choices. To reiterate, they are:

1. asian sandwich
2. asian style taco
3. latin style taco
4. rice bowl

To each of these, you'd add a protein (ribs, chicken, baked tofu, fried fish) and voila, lunch. For some unknown reason, they love pickled cabbage, pickled onions, and cilantro. In fact, those seem to be the only ingredients available to them as each of the above 4 choices comes with them on top/inside. I'd venture to say that nothing is less appealing than baked tofu with a few pieces of cilantro and some pickled vegetables.

Today, I decided to do my last resort test for any place in town, venture into the carnivore realm. I'm trying to avoid meat, but consider myself at best a non-strict vegetarian; therefore, I tried the chicken latin-style tacos.

In all honesty, they weren't bad. The tortillas and the chicken were pretty fresh and tasty, and even the garlic-lime mojo sauce was pretty good (albeit weakly flavored for such bold ingredients). I didn't feel ripped off and I didn't think the meal was totally lacking of any quality. I do still feel with all my being that the pickled vegetables HAVE TO GO. Also, I got more than 4 tortilla chips this time but they tasted fishy as they were surely fried up in the same oil as the fish.

All in all I wasn't blown away, but I was hopeful. If the new owner reads this, there's no reason you can't be better than what you bought. First off, ditch the baked tofu. It's terrible. This is a tempeh town. Hook up some great tempeh from one of our local providers. Fry that shit up or bake it and it will be infinitely better than the tofu.

New Owners at Bahn Thai: I'm worried

I've already reviewed Bahn Thai on this blog and gave it a pretty favorable review. Certainly it's in a shady part of town, the decor is kinda creepy, and the fact that their front wall is emblazoned with photos from 1992 makes you wonder the last time they cleaned up the place. But all in all, it was good. It was a Mom and Pop operation, with Mom up front and Pop working the kitchen. You somehow trusted their preparation practices and food quality because they were personally connected to the business. Also, they'd been doing it for ages.

Upon recently re-visiting the place twice in the past few months, I realized something was up. The first hint was a remodeling job that half the restaurant underwent. Chairs, tables, and sculptures that were clearly bought at a restaurant goods bankruptcy auction replaced the old dingy tables, and the walls received some fresh paint (which upon closer inspection was very poorly done). They also were offering sushi and japanese food items.

I quickly realized something was up.

Upon the dinner visit (at 8:30 on a Saturday), the lunch buffet was still out, all congealed and crusted to the pans some 7+ hours after it was last touched. Furthermore, I noted that the sushi coolers had heavy condensation. After looking closer, I realized that the doors were open. All this RAW FISH was being exposed to the open air in suboptimal refrigeration conditions.

The new owners purchased all the old recipes and the regular menu items were still accurate to the originals. But they stopped the complimentary dessert! It was a small gesture, but certainly a welcomed one and a favorite item of many long time locals.

If you need advice on when to be skeptical about a place's sushi, you shouldn't be eating sushi at all, but I'd strongly, and with all my powers, urge you to AVOID their sushi. The Thai still seems acceptable, but I'm not feeling too hopeful. There wasn't one other party eating dinner on a Saturday night in the whole place.

Bahn Thai was never the best Thai Restaurant in the world, but it was certainly the best we had in this town. If the new owners don't get their act in gear, it will be a shame to lose it.

La Tienda : because you really feel like a burrito after picking up that hooker

2204 Southwest 13th Street

2 thumbs up.

La Tienda is one of many restaurants south of Archer Rd on 13th St that exist a mere crack rock's throw from some savory women of the night. But hey, you gotta eat, right? Sandwiched between the charred remains of Traders South, the former gentlemens club that burned down (read: WAS burned down) and the somehow out of business Waffle House, La Tienda is actually a very clean and inviting restaurant/Mexican store. You can buy yourself some home-cooked authentic Mexican dishes, fresh crossed the border Mexican goods, and even some Mexican music (my favorite was an album entitled "Esta es mi gallo" or "This is my cock," which my brother actually bought - much worse than you could ever imagine).

The menu looked somewhat familiar, and as I was told the same folks run Las Margaritas (unconfirmed), it made sense. I ordered a roasted veggie and bean burrito, some guac and chips and salsa. First off, the salsa was great and the chips fresh. The guac had more of a green mayonnaise consistency and wasn't really my thing.

The burrito was tasty, but as a lunch companion described it, very lardy. The beans were super heavy and dense. I felt like I had eaten a lead brick for the rest of the day.

I've always said I don't like sit down Mexican, but La Tienda offers counter service. This caused me to realize that I just don't like what us American's traditionally know as Mexican. Tex-Mex always seems to be a lighter, fresher choice, but maybe that's just me. To be honest, the place was very clean and welcoming, the portions large and reasonably priced (everything was around 5 bucks), and a pretty decent diamond in the rough of south 13th st.

Another old adage of mine is that I don't need any more burrito joints in this town, we've got that covered.

Bottom line, check it out for yourself. It certainly wasn't the worst place in the world. As somewhat of a health food nut, it certainly didn't please me in that regard. Otherwise, though, there was nothing really to complain about.

Designer Greens

1702 w. university ave.
(underneath copper monkey and next to pita pit by campus)

One thumb up (mostly for effort)


Since last week was spring break and parking wasn't impossible, a few friends and I decided to try some restaurants near campus. The first one we tried was Designer Greens, a new "healthy" restaurant next to Pita Pit. Upon entering, we were presented with quite a spread of seemingly fresh ingredients: lettuces, avocados, hard boiled eggs, tortilla strips, tomatoes (there must have been two dozen different fresh ingredients on hand). This pleased me greatly, as fast food seems to be taking a turn for the healthier/fresher. Also, I was satisfied to find out that what appeared to be a corporate chain was actually a small Florida based operation with only two stores currently open.

I ordered the half sandwich and half salad option and opted for the hummus sandwich, featuring hummus, tzatziki, tomatoes, red onion, feta, and black olives. All of the sandwiches came on pressed flatbread (think thick pita). The salad I chose was the "Avocado," featuring romaine lettuce, avocado, mandarin oranges, red onion, hard boiled egg, corn, candied pecans, goat cheese with citrus dressing. The sandwich was quite small and unfilling but the salad was surprisingly big for a "half."

First off, the sandwich was quite tasty, but felt extremely unhealthy. All the ingredients should be fresh and light, yet the sandwich managed to have a heavy, weighed down texture to it. Like I said, it was tasty, but it really seemed like it had some thick, unhealthy ingredients in it. Feta, yogurt sauce (tzatziki) and hummus don't get that creamy on their own.

Second, the ingredients in the salad seemed to have been compiled by either a child or a madman. Mandarin Oranges and Avocado? Corn? Egg and candied pecans? The salad was very unsettling. Even though this place started in Orlando, this salad epitomized Gainesville cooking mentality: throw a whole bunch of unrelated rich flavors together and pass it off as gourmet.

As with most places in town, I have to step back and realize who they're catering to. Sure, most health conscious college kids might be psyched to eat here. But with a 9.50 price tag for my lunch, I'm not sure they can afford it.

Day Tripper: The Yearling (Cross Creek)

14531 E County Road 325
Cross Creek, FL

2 thumbs up (all for the experience, none for the food)

The Yearling Restaurant in Cross Creek is somewhat of an anomaly in North Central Florida. It is a hugely successful restaurant in the middle of nowhere. It has won Best in the State awards every year since it's been open. It's at least 30 minutes from Gainesville and an equal 30 minutes from Ocala. And, I must stress this, it's IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.

How do they do it, you ask? Well, if you start thinking like a good ole' Florida boy, the answer is simple. The food defines Florida Cracker cuisine. The only spices on the kitchen shelf are salt, salt, salt, and salt. You'll find an ample sampling of gator, catfish, softshell crab and shirts proclaiming "Eat Mo' Cooter!" (turtle, which I don't believe is actually on the menu).

If you think like a literature buff, you'll realize it's named after the Marjorie Kinan Rawlings Pulitzer Prize winning novel. Despite rumors that the restaurant was at one point her actual house it's not; however, it is very close nearby.

If you think like a music purist, you'll want to go to check out Willie Green, a legit as all hell blues man who performs some of the most authentic blues you've ever heard.


All told, a meal here is a truly unique Floridian experience. As I am not a Florida Cracker, I can't say I was blown away by the food. I tried the blackened catfish sandwich with collard greens. I've never eaten catfish before, so I guess I kinda set myself up for failure when I realized how slimy and oddly textured it is. Regardless, it was so over salted that I could barely focus on much else. The greens were equally salted beyond belief.


My eating partner opted for the soft shell crab sandwich with okra and tomatoes. Again, I'm not a Florida Goodleboy, so I've never seen a fried soft shell crab before. Needless to say, it was rather unsettling. I half expected the thing to scoot sideways off the bun and back into the deep fryer. I didn't try it, but was told it was good.

We both chose sweet tea (duh) which turned out to be SUPER SWEET tea. There was so much sugar in it that you couldn't taste much else. I couldn't even finish my glass due to the diabetic shock I immediately entered.

Do be warned that there was absolutely nothing vegetarian friendly on the menu.

All in all, The Yearling was a fun adventure. To get there, you even have to cross the River Styx (I shit you not). I'd strongly suggest going when Willie Green is playing and be sure to sit up front where he plays (besides, the back room looked like a creepy redneck Denny's).

Krishna Lunch: Hare Hare!

5 Thumbs up

Served daily at the Plaza of the Americas from 11:30 to 1:30

4 bucks!

How could something so good, so healthy, and so cheap have existed for so long in my town without me trying it? Well, for starters, I never went to UF for undergrad, so my previous time on campus during peak lunch hours is next to zero. However, since I've been teaching a class at 1:55 this semester, I'm finding myself on campus around the noontime hour at least 3 times a week. It wasn't until a week ago that I tried this "Krishna lunch."

To be honest, I was expecting something very bland served by dirty hippies. When I arrived, however, I was quite pleased to see how sanitary everything seemed, how fresh everything looked, and how delicious everything tasted. For a measly 4 dollars, you get a plate full of food, which always includes 4 courses, and a drink. Seconds (and even thirds and fourths) are completely free. Students routinely bring tupperware that the Krishnas gladly fill to the brim for no additional charge.

My first meal featured chili with rice, garlic potatoes and artichoke hearts, salad with homemade dressing, and pumpkin pie flavored halva (it seems to be a semolina based scoop of brown that can be easily flavored with spices). To be completely honest, I was floored. Everything was so good. I couldn't wait to return for another meal.

My second meal featured spaghetti with a tomato/vegetable sauce, tortilla chips (???), salad, and walnut banana halva. I scarfed down the first plate and headed back for seconds.

Both meals were extremely good. I can't give enough praise for this (unbeknownst to me) well established campus tradition.

Even if you're not a student, find a way to get on campus between 11:30 and 1:30 at the Plaza of the Americas for pure deliciousness.