The Gelato Company

11 Southeast 1st Avenue

Zero thumbs up

I hate to be such a downer all the time, but I really don't like this place. I've never liked it. I've checked it out a handful of times over the years and have always been disappointed. They do make their own gelato in house, which is really cool, but every time I go, there is more empty space in their coolers than there is actual gelato and other items for sale. I feel this makes it look like a half assed operation. Why are the shelves half bare? If it was an Eastern Bloc themed restaurant, then maybe it would make sense, but we're capitalists, god damn it. Fill those coolers up with enough Gelato to make it look like you're actually in business. Aside from my insane ranting, the flavors are actually pretty good. I have no specific complaints about the gelato itself.

I do, however, have a big problem with their food. I've NEVER enjoyed a sandwich here. I can't really pinpoint why, but each time I get a panini here, it's unpleasant. On this particular visit, I ordered the Vegetariano Panini, which featured Mozzarella cheese, homemade pesto, Avocado, lettuce and tomato. I think my problems with this sandwich started with the individual ingredients. The pesto wasn't good. I've made pesto at home. It's Basil, Oil, Salt, Pepper, Garlic, Pine Nuts. That's it. Get the proportions right and it's impossible to screw up. Gelato Company's Pesto was unpleasant, heavy, and not helping the sandwich out much.

Next, the bread wasn't good. I don't know where they get their bread from, but it's a huge flaw in the overall sandwich. It had an unusual sickeningly sweet overtone and didn't quite toast up in the sandwich press, but just got hard and crumbly. I was pleased to find that it wasn't terribly greasy and oily, as a past sandwich had been, but still, I did not enjoy the sandwich at all. Furthermore, it was a bit small for the price ($7.50).



I opted to get the side salad with my sandwich and was hoping for something tasty. Instead I got more croutons than lettuce and a very unsettling dressing. I've never tasted a salad dressing like this before. It was almost as if they combined a few others together to create a suicide style dressing (remember when you'd fill up your cup at the self serve with all the flavors of soda?). It was tangy yet sweet, but not in a complimentary way.

I went with two other friends who ordered the exact same thing and we all had the same opinion. It just wasn't good.

I hate to hate on a place like this because the space is so perfect for a cozy little cafe, but I really think The Gelato Company falls way short of the mark and has been doing so for years.



I

Mr. Han's Restaurant and Night Club (?)

6944 NW 10th Pl

5 thumbs down.

Mr. Han's is a bit of a legend in Gainesville. Unfortunately, that legend is all in the past and what is currently offered is a bit of a joke. Apparently, it was THE place to go after Gator Growl back in the 80's. This is evidenced by large faded photographs of the owners with Rodney Dangerfield, Robin Williams, and other performers who haven't set foot in Gainesville since the Reagan Era. For some reason, the entire place is painted black inside. I find this very unsettling. I also have no idea what takes place in the "Night Club" downstairs, as I can't imagine anyone heading out to I75 and Newberry Road to get their drink on on a late Saturday night.

Regardless of the creepy vibe, the food just isn't good. I've eaten here 3 or 4 times over the years, always with a big group, and always with someone who knew the owners and got special treatment. Even with this preferential treatment, the food was extremely unsettling and a few of us would always end up eating somewhere else afterwards.

First up would always be the Gelatinous Shrimp Soup. I have no idea what they're going for with this item, but there is so much corn starch in this "soup" that you could probably stand a chop stick up in it.

Then, an assortment of entrees would arrive, including a dry, pre sliced and fanned out duck, goopy soggy eggplant homogeneously mixed with a weak brown sauce, dry old white rice, and other stir fry mysteries.

You have to understand that I'm not a huge fan of Chinese food in general, but I really really really hate Mr. Han's. It's creepy, the food is bad and the ingredients seem cheap. Eventually, we stopped accepting invitations to the big group dinners because they'd end up just being a waste of time. We'd have to come up with some excuse for leaving early and not eating much and it just got old.

I do not like this place.

Taste of Saigon

4860 NW 39th Ave # C

3 thumbs up

I've eaten at Taste of Saigon approximately 4 times in the last 6 years. It's pretty close to my house and I love Vietnamese food. What's the problem, then, you ask? Well, to be honest, I had a few lukewarm experiences there and had never really cared to return. After having it suggested to me for a new review, I felt that I had to return and couldn't just review the place based on an old experience. So I did!

I must say, the Pho that I got was quite good. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary, but it certainly wasn't disappointing. One nice feature was the option to order egg noodles instead of rice noodles. I really dug the flavor and texture of the egg noodles and will definitely get them again in future Pho's. I also tasted a dining partner's stir fry and really enjoyed the flavor of the brown sauce.

Overall, I was pleased with this experience, but hesitate to give them more than 3 thumbs up until I return and sample a few more menu items. If they hold up to the quality I received the other night, they'll surely earn more.

Check it out!

Pho Hanoi: Giving the name "Vietnam" a bad association

3550 SW 34th St (next to the Goodwill on South West 34th)

5 thumbs down

Just when you thought that pan-asian cuisine couldn't get worse, Pho Hanoi steps in with a steaming plate of mediocrity. I'd never been here before, so when a friend suggested it for lunch, I figured I'd give it a shot. I do love Vietnamese food and was curious to see a new take on it. First off, we ordered some edamame. They came out shriveled, wilted, and splotchy colored. They looked very sad. They tasted even sadder. It looked like they'd been sitting in the fridge or freezer for way too long and were just discovered in time to serve them up to us.

For the meals, we had the vermicelli pork bowl and the stir fried vegetables and tofu. The vermicelli just looked like white spaghetti and overall, the whole meal wasn't very good (pictured above). The stir fried vegetables and tofu were as equally sad as the edamame and were served with next to no sauce (despite being advertised as having a brown sauce). I kept getting a distinct whiff of kitty litter box from the vegetables and somehow managed to pinpoint its origin to the cabbage/sauce combination. The only thing that made this tolerable was excessive amounts of hoisin and sriracha sauce that I added. This place was terrible. The food was bad. The ingredients were cheap and old. In fact, it wasn't even that cheap (at 11 bucks each, it was disappointing for my wallet as well as stomach).

To be honest, I was worried that it might be really good, as it's so far away from the parts of town I frequent. Fortunately(?) for me, it wasn't anything to be worried about.

Don't eat here.

Welcome New Readers!

Holy Smokes! I had 200 hits on this thing yesterday!! When I started, I figured I may have a few friends check it out and perhaps get the stray unknown reader now and then. But to have the people at VisitGainesville.com not only following, but re-posting some recent reviews kinda blew my mind. I figured, since so many of you are new, that you should understand where I'm coming from.  

The Thumb System: Here's how I rate restaurants.
5 thumbs up : Excellent! Love it! Eat here multiple times a week!
4 thumbs up : Very Good! Not quite perfect. Eat here one-two times a month.
3 thumbs up : Good. It does the job and nothing to really complain about. Eat here only when you're in the area and can't think of anywhere else.
2 thumbs up : Not bad. I would think about trying somewhere else first if I had the choice. Eat here rarely.
1 thumb up : Meh. It's calories. I would definitely try to eat somewhere else if I had a choice.
0 thumbs up : Not worth my time. They're not even trying. (skip 1-4 thumbs down, because at this point, who really cares?)
5 thumbs down : Terrible  

Opinionated, Over reactive, and Bawdy I'm letting you know up front that I'm not going to like some places that you love. As long as you're OK with that, so am I. For instance, I HATE Boca Fiesta & Tim's Thai. I don't think Satchel's Pizza is as great as you do. And don't even get me started on Chopsticks. You can read these reviews by browsing my archives. I'm trying to find a way that you can search for specific old reviews, but for now check out the links on the bottom right.  

What do you like? I like fresh, healthy, appropriately seasoned, and well thought out food. I don't eat alot of meat, so we may have some issues here if you're a big time carnivore. I stay away from fried foods and cream sauces. I find poor service inexcusable. I'm not interested in pickled jalapenos in a fish rice bowl. Just give me real food.  

What makes you the expert? Nothing. I know what I like and what I don't like. That's the only reason I started this blog. I really hate bad dining experiences and wanted a forum to vent. I also LOVE great dining experiences. I hope to counterbalance the negativity I inject into the internet with something positive. If you've ever noticed, no local publication (GVL Sun, Alligator, InSite, Local News, etc) EVER says anything negative about a local restaurant. There is certainly a strong sense of community in Gainesville, but I feel it comes at the cost of honesty. It seems that most people in a position to criticize in this town don't want to hurt an entrepreneur's chances of succeeding, so they'll always give positive reviews. Not me.

So, there you have it. Up next, I'm going to do a review of The Gelato Company. I don't like them. The review will not be pleasant. Repeated fair warning: We will not agree on some things, but that's what makes the world go round.

Swamp Head Brewing Co.

Sold all around Gainesville at your favorite bars
and available at the tasting room
3140 S.W. 42nd WAY
Gainesville, FL 32608
(352) 505-3035
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday
4pm to 8pm

4 thumbs up

From what I've learned about commercial brewing in Florida, it's nearly impossible to get through all the red tape to be up and running as a legit brewery. Trust me, I thought about doing it about 4 years ago. It seemed nearly impossible. From what I understand, it took the good folks at Swamphead the better part of 2 years to get operational due to the overly complicated Florida laws.

Regardless, we have a pretty great brewery right here amidst our city limits. Most of their brews are quite good and they always provide a satisfying variety of styles. My only criticism is that their beers aren't terribly unique and seem to mimic already popular beers that are commercially available. Even so, I'm happy to support a local entrepreneur who produces a tasty product, copy cat or not.

Here are my takes on some of their brews.

Wild Night Honey Cream Ale (1.5 thumbs up): This beer isn't bad, but isn't great. It's a lighter offering and has sometimes come out of the tap a bit stinky. It's certainly not my go to choice.

Cottonmouth Belgian Wheat Beer (4 thumbs up): This beer is quite tasty, but I think it's uncomfortably similar to Hoegaarden. It's still good, and since it's made right in town instead of Belgium, I'm OK with that.

Stump Knocker Pale Ale (4 thumbs up): Hops! HOPS! This beer is LOADED with hops. I had one last night and it nearly punched me in the nose. After the first few biting sips, I became accustomed to it's strong hop content and actually enjoyed it quite a bit. Not for the weak at heart when it comes to hops. HOPS!

Big Nose IPA (5 thumbs up): This is my favorite Swamp Head brew probably because it's extremely similar to Dogfish Head's 60 and 90 minute IPAs (which are two of my favorite commercially available beers). It's a little strong for my tastes (at 7.3%), but it's really their best beer in my opinion.

Midnight Oil Oatmeal Coffee Stout (0 thumbs up): I think this beer isn't worthy of their roster. It basically tastes like a carbonated, unsweetened espresso. I think I'd prefer it if the Oatmeal came through more than the coffee. Ironically, this beer has won best Florida beer awards for the past 2 years. Also, it's described as having an intense coffee aroma and flavor without the bitter oils. I think this statement is flat out wrong. I think it's super bitter and not enjoyable to drink. And just so you know I'm not inherently prejudiced to the style, Oatmeal stouts and coffee beers are some of my favorite styles of beer.

They also brew seasonal offerings and limited releases.

Overall, I'm happy to have Swamp Head in town, but I'd seriously like them to develop a voice of their own.